Well I thought I would begin the weekend with a double hitter. Mainly because two of my favorite things are date night and frozen yogurt. And tonight my friends I am partaking in both. Yep a little dinning and yogurt action with the hubs and then off to a movie..
If you aren't married yet or should I say if you are and don't have kids, don't take this time for granted. I love my daughter to pieces but having time with just Ryan is hard to come by, even harder when you have to pay someone to watch your kid. (the downside to not living near your parents, also keep that in mind if you are married without kids)
So on nights like this or on the rare occasion when my dearest friend "Auntie" Amy takes Lily for the weekend, I rejoice in my time with my hubs. I mean he is pretty hot and I like staring at him. Especially over a cup of coconut frozen yogurt!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Post 3: Thanks to all things girlie
Do you love this pic or what? Ha just made me laugh out loud when I saw it. You get it girls!
Today I am giving thanks to girl time. As a mom and a wife there is a lot on my plate. I love spending time with my family, taking care of the home and doing all the things that come along with those titles. However once a week I get to step away and have a little me time. Its during that me time that I get to partake in all things girlie! Be it pedicures, chick flicks or just some great chit chat time with my best girl friends.
Tonight I got to spend some time with one of my favorite people and it was nothing short of delightful. I wont share the details of the conversation, as I believe some things are better kept secret. :) But a little tea and conversation was all I needed tonight to feel charged and ready to hit the week with a little more gusto!
So thankful for girl time.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Post 2: Radio shows
Today I am thankful for the broadcast on NPR called This American Life.
Without it I would probably want to shoot myself due to the repetition of the same five songs on the three radio stations available to me in Lynchburg.
If you have never listened to this program, you should. Its like movies for the radio. I love the stories and the vast amounts of information I take in from listening to this program.
And these days since my time to read or watch anything informational is limited. I am thankful that while I drive around town running a million and one errands, I have something to listen to that keeps me in tune with the rest of the world.
So thank you Ira Glass and thank you NPR.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Month of Thanks..post 1
So a couple months ago I was reading this blog called THXTHXTHX. It is basically one woman writing down the things she is thankful for everyday. I love reading it cause some of the things she pays thanks to are some of the very things I tend to look over. I often laugh and smile when reading her blog and more recently have started taking a look at my own thought process and what I thankful for. So in honor of her blog, Thanksgiving and all things that make me smile I am going to blog every day this month something I am thankful for.
So today. Day one. Would be easy right...I mean I haven't said anything and there is so much to pick from. However it is precisely that abundance that has left me a bit stumped as to what my opening blog should be. That is it did all morning and some of this afternoon. Then I went to lay Lily down for her nap (well rest time cause she doesn't nap much these days) I read a book or two and then we talked about drawing. When I went to give her a kiss she smiled. Instead of puckering her lips she just smiled. Big grin, teeth and all and as I smooched her she began to laugh. It was hilarious. She kept saying OK OK smooch and then I would lean in to kiss her and she would laugh hysterically and refuse to complete the kiss. We died laughing about this for about five minutes to which she ended the big smile smooching session with asking me to kiss her foot. Now this may seem strange but she had just stepped on her toy and I had kissed it better so she was merely asking for one more kiss for good measure. Ha. The funnier part is her foot stunk. She had been wearing her Toms without socks and is a sweating food so her feet smelled. This began more laughter which went on and on for about another three minutes.
All that to say I left the room wishing her sweet dreams and found my first post for Thanksgiving.
My daughter and her spirit is one of the best things I have been given in life. I love being her mom and I love her little smoochy face.
All that to say I left the room wishing her sweet dreams and found my first post for Thanksgiving.
My daughter and her spirit is one of the best things I have been given in life. I love being her mom and I love her little smoochy face.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Embracing..
First let me say that last night I took a Body Jam class at one of the gyms I work at. It was the first class Ive gone to in months that I havent taught myself, and I loved it! I have to say that it was great to go to a class that was so challenging and to experience someone teaching who exhibits the same passion I feel when I am teaching my classes.
With that I had to stop and chat with the instructor afterwards so I could tell him just how much I liked the class and that I was looking into getting certified as well since I liked it so much. We ended up practicing some of the routines and discussing the hardships of training. The conversation led to chatting about our journeys with challenging our bodies to reach their best. This was interesting for me to discuss with a man who is by no means obsessed with how he ooks but cares enough to be healthy and fit. He knows his weaknesses and his limits. He challenges himself and believes he can be more than what some have said he would never become.
I loved this! Mainly because as of late, you can tell by reading previous posts, I to have had my own revelation. I can and have said for some time now that this is the first time in years, maybe since I was a young child, that I do not feel like I am less because (fill in the blank). I am confident in my figure, I am loving my 30s,( 30-32 have been the best of my life). It is not a passing phase. I have reached the thing I have been striving for for years. I am HAPPY with who I am.
Now all of that to say that it doesn't mean I am not taking care of myself, that I don't wear makeup to enhance my natural beauty or stopped enjoying shopping to find those perfect jeans. What it does mean is that I am no longer trying to be something I am not. And what has helped me to get there is finding those things that I really truly love. You know that saying " Do What You Love and You Will Love What You Do?' Well for years I had no idea what that was. It was having Lily and having the opportunity to teach dance aerobics that awakened those things for me. I truly love what I do. Motherhood and Dance are my gems. And thank the Lord for them.
So the question/challenge is:
What is your gem? Do you get excited when you go to work every day? Are you happy with who you are? Are you trying to be something your not? Whatever the answers, own them. Be honest with yourself and make the changes that need to be made. Then rock it. There is nothing shameful in being who you are and doing what God made you to do.
With that I had to stop and chat with the instructor afterwards so I could tell him just how much I liked the class and that I was looking into getting certified as well since I liked it so much. We ended up practicing some of the routines and discussing the hardships of training. The conversation led to chatting about our journeys with challenging our bodies to reach their best. This was interesting for me to discuss with a man who is by no means obsessed with how he ooks but cares enough to be healthy and fit. He knows his weaknesses and his limits. He challenges himself and believes he can be more than what some have said he would never become.
I loved this! Mainly because as of late, you can tell by reading previous posts, I to have had my own revelation. I can and have said for some time now that this is the first time in years, maybe since I was a young child, that I do not feel like I am less because (fill in the blank). I am confident in my figure, I am loving my 30s,( 30-32 have been the best of my life). It is not a passing phase. I have reached the thing I have been striving for for years. I am HAPPY with who I am.
Now all of that to say that it doesn't mean I am not taking care of myself, that I don't wear makeup to enhance my natural beauty or stopped enjoying shopping to find those perfect jeans. What it does mean is that I am no longer trying to be something I am not. And what has helped me to get there is finding those things that I really truly love. You know that saying " Do What You Love and You Will Love What You Do?' Well for years I had no idea what that was. It was having Lily and having the opportunity to teach dance aerobics that awakened those things for me. I truly love what I do. Motherhood and Dance are my gems. And thank the Lord for them.
So the question/challenge is:
What is your gem? Do you get excited when you go to work every day? Are you happy with who you are? Are you trying to be something your not? Whatever the answers, own them. Be honest with yourself and make the changes that need to be made. Then rock it. There is nothing shameful in being who you are and doing what God made you to do.
Monday, October 3, 2011
A box of tissues
Ok so in my attempt to make it through some of the movies of the past this week I landed on a true classic in my opinion (which is largely influenced by my mothers love for one of the main characters). A Star is Born is a great movie and mainly I think this is because I have a strong affection for Mrs. Barbara herself. My mother basically raised me on her music and watching her movies always takes me back to a place of peace and joy from my childhood.
This movie is particular I have watched a few times throughout the years but never all the way through. I added it to my netflix que a couple weeks ago and finally sat down to watch it tonight. Man what a different perspective I have on this movie since my last viewing experience. now being married and having a child I was a huge basket case. I think I cried the entire last twenty minutes. ha.
So this is just a quick note to say watch out the next time you watch a movie with some ties in it that bring your heart to pieces. And bring a box of tissues.
The End
This movie is particular I have watched a few times throughout the years but never all the way through. I added it to my netflix que a couple weeks ago and finally sat down to watch it tonight. Man what a different perspective I have on this movie since my last viewing experience. now being married and having a child I was a huge basket case. I think I cried the entire last twenty minutes. ha.
So this is just a quick note to say watch out the next time you watch a movie with some ties in it that bring your heart to pieces. And bring a box of tissues.
The End
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I am Nicole Regine Neace
It is interesting the things that come, be it with motherhood, your 30s, life experience or some combination there of. For me its been Lily's birth that has really pushed things into fast forward. My entire view point has shifted and I think now I am finally turning into the woman I've always desired to be.
I don't think its rare for a woman to say she has struggled with self identity and worth at some point in her life. I believe finding acceptance within yourself and from others is tricky and that some battle more than others. For the longest time I would say that it was the acceptance of my outside, my appearance, to be my greatest struggle. For the most part who I was and who I am today on the inside is not only acceptable by my terms but the worlds as well. It is the way I looked on the outside that had presented some speculation.
As far back as 6th grade I can remember hearing comments about the size of my behind and so forth. As I got older it wasn't any easier. After going through a mess with my family and moving from town to town food became a friend. Weight packed on and my self-esteem went into the toilet. This continued on until my mid 20s. Blame it on a messed up family or the media or a combination of both, either way I was a hot mess.
I can recount my mission trip to Thailand with a friend and hearing the Thai people talk about my size. Where they would place me in the car and who they thought was prettiest between my friend and I. They thought I was fat and were not shy about saying it to my face. Frequently they would compare me to my friend, who was thin and model like to them. This led to a breakdown at the end of my trip while trying to purchase some clothing from a vendor. The lady slapped the under part of her arm and spoke to me in Thai saying I was to fat for the top I was interested in. What was shocking to me was that on one hand I was disgusted by their blunt behavior and on the other I agreed. I thought here is the confirmation I have been looking for! Finally someone is saying to my face what I have always believed. I am fat and that is a horrible unacceptable thing!
It was the proof I needed that it was not just a useless American standard but a world standard. Fat was not ok with anyone. But then there was the time I had spent in Africa, where again I was called fat, but in an adoring manner. I was looked upon as royalty! Beauty was found in the curves of my hips and the fullness of my behind. To them my size meant wealth and desire. Man, talk about a contrast! So what did I learn from this...something that took years to sink in...
After my time overseas I came home to California and immediately set out to make a change. I started dieting.I went to a gym. I danced. I grew up and I found friends I liked and liked me back. I thought finally I will be the woman that everyone can accept. They will love my outsides as much as my insides! Though all those things begun to take place I still struggled to like myself. I mean yes I gained confidence and I liked how I looked, but it still wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I was comparing myself to the 5ft 10 models at 120 lbs. I'd beat myself up because I couldn't fit into size 8 citizen jeans. I mean I still had this curvaceous body, there was nothing wafer or boyish about it, and still I was ashamed.
So where does that leave me? Fast forward five years, I move to Nashville. I meet the man of my dreams, I get married and I have a daughter. It was with the birth of my daughter and the amazement of how God created this little person within me, that has changed my perspective drastically. Here is this beautiful little girl, one who has a smile that radiates and a eyes that could knock you off your feet. And this isn't true because I am comparing her to someone whom I have been told is the picture of beauty and therefore convinced of her own. It is because she is flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood that I can see her for who she really is. It is this thought process that enables me to see myself, for the first time in many regards, as a beautiful, curvy, intelligent woman. One that doesn't ever need to be 5'10 and 12 0lbs to be a sexy, desirable, worthy, unforgettable woman. I am simply because I am.
Anyhow all this to say there are many insights that have come. Some life changes have taken place. Plans that have been set in stone and I won't share them all but I will share this. I will not tell my daughter she is ugly, unworthy or some how less because of who she is on the outside or the in. I will strive to live out the confidence in myself and who God created me to be so that she can have someone to look up to. I will no longer live in a house that speaks in code about how we are to look. Diets are no longer a part of my regular vocabulary. (I will never go on a diet again!) I will take care of myself by eating well. I will be physically active and enjoy the things that challenge my body to be its best. Moreover, I will never again strive to be that 5'10 model at 120 lbs. I am Nicole Regine Neace, 5'7 and 165 lbs of pure sexiness! I am kickass! I am smart! I am funny and I am loved! I am worth more than those who have shamed me in my past and I am more than I thought I was at 12, 22 and even 30. I am phenomenal. Phenomenal woman thats me!
I don't think its rare for a woman to say she has struggled with self identity and worth at some point in her life. I believe finding acceptance within yourself and from others is tricky and that some battle more than others. For the longest time I would say that it was the acceptance of my outside, my appearance, to be my greatest struggle. For the most part who I was and who I am today on the inside is not only acceptable by my terms but the worlds as well. It is the way I looked on the outside that had presented some speculation.
As far back as 6th grade I can remember hearing comments about the size of my behind and so forth. As I got older it wasn't any easier. After going through a mess with my family and moving from town to town food became a friend. Weight packed on and my self-esteem went into the toilet. This continued on until my mid 20s. Blame it on a messed up family or the media or a combination of both, either way I was a hot mess.
I can recount my mission trip to Thailand with a friend and hearing the Thai people talk about my size. Where they would place me in the car and who they thought was prettiest between my friend and I. They thought I was fat and were not shy about saying it to my face. Frequently they would compare me to my friend, who was thin and model like to them. This led to a breakdown at the end of my trip while trying to purchase some clothing from a vendor. The lady slapped the under part of her arm and spoke to me in Thai saying I was to fat for the top I was interested in. What was shocking to me was that on one hand I was disgusted by their blunt behavior and on the other I agreed. I thought here is the confirmation I have been looking for! Finally someone is saying to my face what I have always believed. I am fat and that is a horrible unacceptable thing!
It was the proof I needed that it was not just a useless American standard but a world standard. Fat was not ok with anyone. But then there was the time I had spent in Africa, where again I was called fat, but in an adoring manner. I was looked upon as royalty! Beauty was found in the curves of my hips and the fullness of my behind. To them my size meant wealth and desire. Man, talk about a contrast! So what did I learn from this...something that took years to sink in...
After my time overseas I came home to California and immediately set out to make a change. I started dieting.I went to a gym. I danced. I grew up and I found friends I liked and liked me back. I thought finally I will be the woman that everyone can accept. They will love my outsides as much as my insides! Though all those things begun to take place I still struggled to like myself. I mean yes I gained confidence and I liked how I looked, but it still wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I was comparing myself to the 5ft 10 models at 120 lbs. I'd beat myself up because I couldn't fit into size 8 citizen jeans. I mean I still had this curvaceous body, there was nothing wafer or boyish about it, and still I was ashamed.
So where does that leave me? Fast forward five years, I move to Nashville. I meet the man of my dreams, I get married and I have a daughter. It was with the birth of my daughter and the amazement of how God created this little person within me, that has changed my perspective drastically. Here is this beautiful little girl, one who has a smile that radiates and a eyes that could knock you off your feet. And this isn't true because I am comparing her to someone whom I have been told is the picture of beauty and therefore convinced of her own. It is because she is flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood that I can see her for who she really is. It is this thought process that enables me to see myself, for the first time in many regards, as a beautiful, curvy, intelligent woman. One that doesn't ever need to be 5'10 and 12 0lbs to be a sexy, desirable, worthy, unforgettable woman. I am simply because I am.
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