Adults who act like children

So over the course of the last few weeks I have come in contact with several people who've decided acting like a child works better for them. Now I recognize that we all have our moments. Some times we say something out of line or share something that wasn't ours to share. But I cannot stand it when people are petty for no reason. Case in point, I currently teach Zumba at three locations in town. Now I love teaching at all these places, and if given the opportunity I will continue to teach and branch out at other places. I never speak about the other places I teach while in class but I do have several people who follow me on facebook and are aware of my teaching schedule. Now it has come to my attention that certain people who teach the same classes as me are being petty and gossiping about other instructors. This is useless and pointless to me. If I have a student come up to me after a class and discuss another teacher I will often tell them that they are entitled to their opinion and if they want to share their concerns with the director that is the best thing for them to do. Otherwise try other instructors. ( I mean for goodness sakes we have 8 teachers find who you like and go to their class) But I do not have patience for the instructors who bad mouth other instructors or go to the "boss" and tell them negative things for the sake of tattling. I mean seriously how old are you?! For some reason certain instructors don't like sharing/subbing for other instructors and that is fine I suppose. But what does it really matter. We are teaching a freaking zumba class for crying out loud. This is not an do or die situation so who cares when and if you teach. Ugh.
Ok done with that...now on to rest of my day

What it means...

There is something about dance that makes my heart move. I can be doing it or I can watch it and it brings forth emotion I wasn't aware of. I am in love with dance.

Recently I have had some changes in life. I am not talking the changes all people are aware of such as marriage, baby, home and so on. But people and things from my past being brought from a place I thought no longer existed to what is very much real and alive in front of me. This has caused me to be moody, angry, sad, happy, confused, excited and frustrated. Its those emotions that I feel come out when I dance or see a dance piece that exhibits the very depth of what I have a hard time expressing in my day to day life. Tonight I watched a piece that caused me to feel so much joy and at the same time instantly recall the thing that has felt like a heavy weight on my shoulders. It was the moment of joy that has helped me to see I need some help with the weight. So for that reason I am once again thankful for dance.

Pause..

Today after teaching my class I was sitting with Lily and a friend discussing comings and goings of the day. I was stopped by several students telling me that they enjoyed the class and one of my older students informed me she was writing a poem for me. Sweet..the inspiration I had a hand in and in turn what was given back to me.
Later crippled by my back pain I lay on my couch watching Lily so peaceful playing with her toys and dancing to the music playing on my computer. Thankful that she is so laid back and doesn't require me to be up and running around while I lay in pain. I decided to look at facebook and read up on some of my friends happenings. Its nice in times like these when I am so far away to have little glimpses into their daily lives.

Today I was especially moved by one of my very dear friends and a video she posted for us all to share in. This friend, who for the sake of the blog shall remain nameless, has been such a light in my life over the last 6 years. She and I shared trips around the world. Seeing things that to this day can still draw such emotion from me. She has shared in some of the roughest moments of my personal battle and Id like to think I have shared in some of hers as well. Anyhow, on her page was a video sharing with all of us one of those moments that so many wish they had video to capture. She has recently become engaged and her fiance surprised her with her family and friends just after the engagement! The look on her face as she walked in the door was so classic. If you know her you know that face and the thoughts that came with it and at that moment I was so thankful for video, Facebook and the feeling of knowing someone. I cried as I watched her with such joy embrace her family and show off that ring. The journey she has been on the last few years has been one that causes me to pause and look at the hands of the Lord in her life and all of ours. I am so happy for her. Happy actually doesn't begin to explain it. I thank God that He has such love for us and that he can make all things new.

So with that said I pause for a moment. Thankful for my husband, my daughter, my family, extended family, and friends. For those who know me and could know a response just by looking. I love you guys. 

Last nights crazy dream

So last night Ryan was gone and I had the king size bed to myself. Now for most this may be a lovely treat to have a big huge bed to themselves but for me it only means a night of tossing and turning and often funky dreams!
I often subject Ryan to my weird dreams. The twists and turns and the things that make no sense...well at least they don't to him, and last night was no exception. So at some point in my dream I ended up living in a new home but it wasn't here in Lynchburg. As usual it was a fictional town I created in my mind. This time my neighbors consisted of the girls that were in my bible study while I was in college. These girls at the time being 9th graders and I being a senior in college, were now grown to be the same age as myself but I had not aged at all. Anyhow Ryan and I had bought this home to prepare ourselves for the baby that was on the way. Now this may seem sorta normal at this point and nothing to nod your head at but here is where is gets a bit strange.
So Lily existed and was with us in the new home but suddenly I went from being 5 wks pregnant to being rushed to a hospital to deliver my babies...that's right babies. I was having twins!! Then suddenly I am passed out, knocked unconscious from the fear of twins I suppose only to wake up and find myself sore and unsure of what happened. I looked down and it appeared that I had three scars now instead of two from the c-section and to top it off wasn't sure where my children were. I fell back asleep and this time woke to find I had two more little girls.Skip forward who knows how many days and we are now home. I am not real sure where anyone is, children, husband, family, strangers? Where did they go? Next thing I know  I am going back and forth between the house and the hospital and constantly forgetting the babies. Not sure if they have been fed or how big they are, I am in a constant state of panic. Now the dream from there gets to strange to type and honestly I am not sure I can explain it all but I woke up freaking out that I not only was going to have twins the next time we conceived but I was somehow going to miss the birthing experience and misplace them for several days.  I can now say that I am sure I wont forget them...but twins?

Appreciate

I appreciate it when you tell it like it is.
I appreciate it when you tell me I have food in my teeth, mascara under my eyes, or my pants on inside out.
I appreciate it when you share how you feel..
I appreciate it when you help me save me from myself,
I appreciate it when you're honest.
I appreciate it when you are my friend.
I appreciate it when you don't feed me a line of bull.

I appreciate you know my crazy side.
I appreciate you took the time see my crazy side.
I appreciate you know I love trail mix, hate cottage cheese and have an addiction to anything coconut.
I appreciate you know that dancing makes me sane.
I appreciate you took the time to dance with me.

I appreciate you know my heart.
I appreciate you never took it and ran.

I appreciate your willingness to go deep.
I appreciate your willingness to stay light.
I appreciate your time and your effort.
I appreciate your smile and your comfort.
I appreciate your steadiness.
I appreciate your fumbles.
I appreciate your realness.
I appreciate your heart.
I appreciate your humor.
I appreciate your tears.
I appreciate your embrace.
I appreciate your friendship.

I appreciate you... love.

Breaking my heart

Having a child changes everything. I cant watch a commercial that is slightly sappy without crying. I watch every movie/tv show that has anything to do with extreme love or loss and just weep. I think about her on special days and what it will be like and I can already feel an overwhelming joy for those great moments. But how do you explain to someone what that is like... I don't think I can explain, well... maybe. It is so intense and strong that I ache. I hurt. I love. I wish. I dream harder than I ever have. I  am everything so much more.

Today Lily was walking up the stairs with me and talking to me about something in her own special language. She is quickly picking up words but its the combo of those words that makes it so amazing. She is so precious the way she approaches life. So soft and happy. Peaceful. She creates peace in my life and shows me peace in the most stressful of moments. I am amazed at/by her. Who knew...

Change of plans...

So its the new year and in just about three weeks I will be turning 32. Can't believe how fast this year has flown by. So with this new year Ryan and I have decided to get a new us. Unlike most people who make new years resolutions we have just decided to make a plan. A new eating and working out plan has already begun to take place. Its been 10 days into our 6-8 week overhaul and things are looking good! Two friends of ours who did this very same thing just a few months ago look amazing and are assisting us with making this change. Ryan and I have been doing it for 10 days and the results we have so far leave me very excited for the remaining 32+.

We have decided to take photos to see our transformation however these photos are of us in our unmentionables so you will have to wait for the final result photos to really see it. But our assumption is if you know us at all you wont need to see the before photos to see the difference.

And on another note I got certified as a Zumba instructor this passed weekend. I am very excited to get things started and see where it all leads. I have two possible opportunities in the works and hopefully more to come.

I will keep you posted.